Common elements in my negative feelings about writing
Oh wow its not often I can go on a moan fest, let it rip,
and let it all out. Negative feelings about writing. Doubt – I’m not good
enough to do this, I’m not expert enough in the field of academic writing. I had
the wrong training in art and design with a bit of academia tacked on the end
so I fee unprepared. This critical incident vignette demonstrates the beginning
of negativity towards writing. Sitting on the scratchy coconut matting in
primary school, in our class we had glass jars of things to count, beads, dog
biscuits, ect. Of course, I ate a dog biscuit, it was really dusty and stale. I
had decided to be silent that year. In class 4, making me about 7. I had
decided that grown-ups were stupid. They asked ridiculous question that I couldn’t
answer like “why can’t you tell the time” or “have you got a smile for us love?”
“what’s going on in that head of yours?” I decided the best policy was elective
mutism. That way I couldn’t be wrong. This landed me in the special educational
needs class which excused me from all maths, reading and writing. The class met
in the dinner room daily, with the catering staff. The ladies were busy
preparing lunch so we could draw or just sit there. They let us do little jobs
like lay the tables, fill the water jugs, put the glasses out. I vastly
preferred this to the classroom.
A few years later, they tried again with reading but the
books had narratives I didn’t relate to and somehow I slipped through the net. At
home, we had fairy tale books Greek mythology. As my parents were crafts people,
our books always had exquisite drawings and illustrations. We also had many art
books on medieval icons, kimonos, archaeological hordes of Roman and Egyptian
treasures. I spent a lot of time outside investigating the ponds and parks, collecting
and drawing leaves and berries, memorising the names of plants and trees. I
liked poetry, listening to the rhythm of the words and story time, listening to
tall tales and especially singing. I never wrote if could draw. I never read if
I could listen instead.
Many years later, I discovered I was dyslexic. All the little pieces fell into place and I understood what my barriers to learning had been. Slow reading, slower processing of large chunks of text. Poor short-term memory, only able to hold 3 things in my mind at a time, not wired for multitasking. Concept of spans of time and telling the time, hard to read. these things together allotted me a disliking for writing.
Belcher, W. L. (2019) Writing Your Journal Article in Twelve Weeks, Second Edition: A Guide to Academic Publishing Success (Chicago Guides to Writing, Editing, and Publishing), Chicago and London: Chicago University Press. p.16
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